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Please note that Astroturfing and self promotion is not welcome on Stack Exchange. See the FAQ for more details –  ChrisF Jul 17 '12 at 12:38
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@ChrisF: 1. Do I have any financial or other interest in OkCupid? No. I'm using OkCupid to look for matches. Other than that, I have no interest in OkCupid whatsoever. 2. FYI, I also have a primary Stack Exchange account. I've been using this secondary Stack Exchange account on this Stack Exchange and on one other Stack Exchange. I've been using it for questions relating to love, dating, and such, which I want to keep anonymous. Kind regards, –  tealhill Jul 18 '12 at 2:24
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closed as off-topic by Al E., ChrisF Jan 14 at 17:14

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4 Answers

up vote 3 down vote accepted

OkCupid is a dating/friend-finding site. It matches users up based on their answers to a series of questions. To find a cuddle buddy on OkCupid:

  • Answer all of the site's touch-related questions. There are about twenty of them. This is the most important step.

  • While answering each question, specify which answers that you want your matches to have chosen.

  • Set each touch-related question's importance level to "Mandatory".

  • It's useful to also answer question 393435, which is specifically about cuddle friends. But note that if you answer this question only, and not the other touch-related questions, you're unlikely to succeed.

  • Now look for matches as usual. I like to look for matches like this:

    1. I use the Matches tool.

    2. I set OkCupid to show me only users who are online now.

    3. I pick one with instant messaging enabled.

    4. I instant-message them. (You should meet for coffee early on. See the tips below which I've adapted from MetaFilter user "charmedimsure".)


The following tips are valid on all websites, not just OkCupid.

An adaptation of two tips from "charmedimsure":

  • Whether this is right or wrong, a lot of people just stop writing / calling when they get bored, with no explanation ... . Feel free to try one more phone call / e-mail / whatever, but then drop it if you don't get a response. Don't take it personally—be happy they have stopped wasting your time, and move on.

  • It seems to me that if you want to actually meet people (not everyone ... does!), it is better to get to this point sooner rather than later, to force the hands of the window-shoppers a little bit and actually ask if they would like to [meet up] before you have invested weeks of mental energy on them. [By your second or third email, ask them out for coffee. If they don't accept by then, they might never accept. Here's a suggested protocol.]

  • If you're a man, you may want to search for "men seeking men" or "lesbian women only". Some women seeking men are flooded with incoming messages. Or, you may want to switch to Craigslist. If you use Craigslist, you can specify a subject line for your ad and for each message you send. On the big free dating sites, OkCupid and PlentyofFish, you can't.
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Craigslist is the most popular classified-advertising site in the world.[1] To find a cuddle buddy there:

  • Visit <http://www.craigslist.org>.

  • Under the "personals" heading, click on "strictly platonic".

  • Follow the link to the appropriate section. For example, if you're a man seeking a man, click the "m4m" link.

  • To post your own ad:

    1. Click the "post" link in the top-right corner to post your own ad.

    2. Wait for others to reply to you.

  • Or, if you prefer to reply to others' ads:

    1. Add the string cuddl* | touch* | massag* buddy to the search-text box.

    2. Click the Search button.

    3. I recommend that you reply to at least five ads.

Also read the tips at the end of the above answer.

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CuddleComfort is a newer website that is specifically focused on match making for cuddle buddies.

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http://www.ace-book.net/ looks like it may prove useful for this purpose. I've hardly used the site at all though.

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